Of all the possible challenges in life, many people say the hardest thing emotionally is trying to make relationships work. Most relationships never work out. If you count all of the times from middle-school on up that you had a crush or were in love, how many worked out? Half of marriages fail. And the first time you get your heart broken you learn that emotional pain can hurt more than physical pain. You’d rather be hit by a truck. You could suffer a couple of broken legs. They mend. But a broken heart seems interminable. We use terms like “crushed” and “devastated.” And so it is in adult life when differences are discovered, arguments become unmanageable, a sense of being misunderstood and mistreated grows, and mistrust and fear of loss dominate the relationship. What will you do?
What I offer:
I’ve been working with couples since the 1970s and I enjoy it now more than ever. This is because of great advances in understanding what makes relationships fall apart and the development of very effective strategies not only to repair the damage but tools to make relations happier than ever.
After getting your history as a couple, your feelings, and perceptions of the problems, we can usually pinpoint why things have become difficult. We start with the premise that no one is to blame and with the understanding that continuing to do the same things and expecting different results will get you nothing. Then, with your permission, I become more of a teacher and a coach than merely empathizing with your pain for endless sessions like I’m some kind of guru with mystical powers that will heal you magically. There are understandings and tools that you deserve to know and practice. I feel I owe couples this.